Last March I was sitting in an uncomfortable, crowded auditorium waiting for the speaker to start.
I was required to go for a class and I was less than excited about the proposition of sitting for an hour lecture while I still had homework to do and an article to write.
Then she appeared in an elegant silk and lace dupatta draped over her head. Benazir Bhutto a had a kind of poise and grace that commanded attention. The audience grew quiet and she began to speak. She spoke of recent history, of oppression, of terrorism, of violence and democracy.
She talked of her hopes and dreams for her country and her dream of returning home.
Less than eight months later, undeterred by death threats and a less-than-thrilled Pakistani government, she returned to her homeland to run in the next open election.
Bhutto's return ignited huge demonstrations and protests which frequently ended in bloodshed.
We hoped, as she hoped, she would be able to reach her goal of leading Pakistan to a more stable and democratic government.
Yet, on Dec. 27, watching our glossy television screens, somehow disengaged from the violence in a far away country, the whole world realized we underestimated the power of hatred and violence.
This is all old news.
Bhutto was assassinated in the typical, suicide bomber fashion and the mourning public is left to pick up the pieces of a crushed dream of stability in the Middle East.
What, as Americans, are we going to learn from her death?
Well, here is what I have taken away from her death.
First, Bhutto and her husband did not have a completely untarnished record in office. There are allegations of corruption and money skimming. But, to her critics I will say this: Bhutto was a charismatic and dynamic leader in her own right. She made more strides for Muslim women simply by being elected and more so because of her innovative policies.
If we held a microscope to all of our politicians as closely as we did to Bhutto, I'm sure we would find a few flaws.
Furthermore, to the Bush Administration: frankly your foreign policy could use some work. One week you are supporting Pervez Musharraf, who is a known military dictator, and the next you are supporting Bhutto, who went into exile after Musharraf took power.
Some brilliant mind cooked up a deal where Bhutto would run for prime minister under Musharraf to give his government a veneer of legitimacy.
Really, is that how it works? The U.S. can support anyone in another country and they'll be elected no questions asked?
And if you were Musharraf how would you like another leader, a woman none the less, coming into your country and undermining your power?
Bhutto's assassination was the result of poor foreign relations, an ongoing power struggle and the vicious cycle of violence that has somehow become accepted.
This is what I have learned.
Violence only causes more violence.
I don't know if the U.S. can help solve the problems that plague Pakistan. They are rutted deep in Pakistani society, tradition and history. If we can't make improvements, let's at least not make it worse.
To Benazir Bhutto, I am sorry our government failed you and your government failed you. But most of all, I'm sorry your fearless voice was silenced.